The person who broke you can no longer fix anything
When you say goodbye, this does not mean that you are taking a step back in your life. This means that you draw a line between what makes your life better, and, conversely, tires and pulls back.
Remember this truth forever: the person who once broke you will never be able to help you. Nothing to fix … Do not make this mistake. Do not be under the illusion that he will be able to fix something – forget about what happened or heal the wounds inflicted.
Do not hold on to relationships that only bring you suffering and tears. Do not go back to this deadly trap, just because you are afraid of loneliness, or you have no idea how to live on without a partner. Do not forget: if the relationship does not work out, and you could not change it at the very beginning, then it’s silly and ridiculous to expect that in the future something will change for the better.
Yes, it will be so: after parting, your mind will bring thousands of arguments that you can’t live without a former partner. And that you probably parted in vain … It really hurts, and you would like to be together, but at the same time you understand that your relationship had no future.
Everything that you run away from will happen again sooner or later.
You enter into a new relationship, then nothing changes. Time passes, conflicts and problems only worsen. Everything is already here together: humiliation, distrust, wounds from old insults that have not yet healed. Everything that you run away from, and do not decide properly, is repeated in life again.
Sigmund Freud wrote about this back in 1920 in the book “Beyond the Principle of Pleasure”. He called it the “fatal doom of repetition.”
This means that people tend to stumble on the same stones (each of them, of course, has their own). This means that when your “stone” is a certain type of relationship, then you will invariably return to it again and again.
It turns out that your rock, as it were, has a “human name”. That is, a certain emotional dependence is generated. You, like a butterfly on fire, are attracted to a particular type of relationship and people. As if wedge light converged exclusively on them.
Therefore, we get older, and the problems remain the same. Amazing right? Why is this happening? The answer is simple: because if you run away from a problem instead of solving it, the script will be repeated countless times.
And this does not stop until you think about it and rethink your reaction to what is happening and the decisions you make. The number of errors will grow like a snowball …
Accept change and move on …
“You always need to understand when a stage has ended. When we refuse to accept this and delay it with farewell, we deprive ourselves of the happiness of knowing the next pages of our life that are yet to be read.
End the cycle, slam the door, finish the chapter … It doesn’t matter what you call it, the main thing is to leave in the past what has already ended in time, ”- Paulo Coelho.
When something breaks inside, it will never be as before
When you are broken, when it is simply tearing apart from pain and despair, you continue to try to return the good that you had with your partner. It seems to you real and possible. The irony of fate is that the uncertainty makes you think that it is better to go through life in company with someone.
Obviously, your attachment was unhealthy and illogical, but you can not help yourself … But this is not so! The situation can be fundamentally reversed by restructuring perception and thinking. But you have to constantly work on this.
First of all, you must reformat your attitude towards attachment and loss. A well-built strategy will help you break this vicious circle of searching for relationships that are based on addiction over time. You will immediately feel free: in your choice, in affection, in love.
It will not be easy, because for years you lived in a certain coordinate system. But you have to make a decision and start the change. This is something that no one will do for you.
Although, I repeat, it will be painful and will require considerable effort.
When you say goodbye, this does not mean that you are taking a step back in your life. This means that you draw a line between what makes your life better, and, conversely, tires and pulls back.
You begin to take care of yourself and stop chasing after the crumbs of love that you have graciously “thrown off the table.”
When you let go of your pain, self-esteem will increase
When you let go of everything that humiliated you and made you suffer, a completely new stage in your life will begin. This will help you find yourself real, grow and move forward.
To let go of relationships that are long dead is to gain freedom. This means that from this moment you begin to build a new life. Everything will be completely different now, the main thing is to want!
